“I am starving! Can you fix me a sandwich before dinner time?” Patrick addressed his wife Sharon. He lay on the couch, trying to follow the political debate on TV. He had arrived from work, taken a shower and was now relaxing after a long day in the office. Sharon was chopping some vegetables for supper. She did not respond to his request and continued to chop vegetables.

Patrick and Sharon met in campus. He was a year ahead of her and they started dating while he was in his final year in campus. They continued dating after his graduation. Sharon did not land a job soon after graduation and she and Patrick moved in together while she was job hunting. She got pregnant before she landed a job and it was like she became comfortable and did not pursue the hunt for a job. They later legalized their union. They had been together for five years and had two young children. Sharon had settled to being a stay-at-home mom.

Patrick called out to Sharon after a while and repeated his request. She did not say a word and neither did she fix him a sandwich. She continued doing her work. At that moment baby woke up and started yelling at the top of his lungs. Sharon left the kitchen and picked baby up. A few minutes later, she walked into the living room, baby in her arms. She sat down to breast feed the little one.

“Sweets, I have been waiting for a sandwich for the past one hour.” Patrick reminded Sharon.

Sharon continued breastfeeding the baby without saying a word. Clearly, supper would take a while to get ready because of the interruption from baby.

Sharon placed the baby in his seat and headed towards the kitchen to continue preparing supper.

“Will you keep an eye on baby as I cook?”

“Alright. Will you still fix me the sandwich to keep me going till supper is ready?”

“You are very unfair! You are just chilling there doing nothing and I am busy! I can’t believe that you have been laying there waiting for me to fix a sandwich for over an hour yet you can see clearly that I have a lot to do! What exactly does it cost you to fix yourself a sandwich honestly?”

The conversation between Patrick and his wife quickly degenerated into a quarrel. Sharon dropped into a seat, put her face in her hands and started sobbing. She was shocked at this stranger that she had become. When did she become this angry, bitter woman? What happened to the happy, fun loving girl she once was? Where did she lose herself?

Motherhood brings a lot of joy to a woman. Holding the tiny, helpless soul for the first time in the labor ward is one of the most fulfilling experiences for a woman. Her life is changed forever as she gazes lovingly at the little life she has just brought into the world. Despite the joys of motherhood, many families make the decision to have the wife stay at home to take care of the little ones without proper consideration.

Here are some tips to guide families as they make the all important decision about the wife’s career and her new role as a mother.

1. Goal Setting for Couples
2. Decision Making in Marriage
3. Roles and Responsibilities of Marriage Partners
4. What Next for Stay-at-home-moms after the babies Grow?
5. Personal Development for Stay-at-home-moms

1. Goal Setting for Couples

Marriage is a long term commitment. Two adults meet and decide that they want to spend the rest of their lives together. Before they reached that decision, each of them had individual goals and aspirations. Before any major decisions about the couple’s future are made, they need to discuss their individual goals and harmonize them. A man can be convinced that he is taking good care of his family while the wife is totally frustrated at the quality of their lives. This can be a major cause of conflicts as the wife accuses the man of not doing enough to provide.

* Do they plan to have children? If so, how many? When?
* What sort of lifestyle do they want for the family; what neighborhood will they live in, what schools/colleges/universities do they want for their children?
* How will they afford that lifestyle?
* Will both of them work or one will stay at home to bring up the children?
* If only one of them will work, will the family be able to stay afloat over the years on a single income?
* Does any of them have liabilities and/or responsibilities beyond the immediate family’s needs such as meeting the needs of the extended family or loans such as student loans?
* At what age do they plan to retire and what kind of life do they plan to have after retirement?

Do not get excited about the arrival of a beautiful angel in your home and in an effort to bring her up the best way possible you decide that the mother needs to give up on her career to give full attention to the angel, unless you have planned long term and put the right measures in place.

2. Decision Making in Marriage

This is one area that can make or break a marriage. If the husband will be earning all the income while the wife stays at home looking after the young ones, how will decision-making be handled? Will the couple plan and budget together or will the husband make all the decisions since he is the one bringing money home?

How will the couple handle the money since it will be coming from one source and will be most likely tied to one individual’s payslip?

How will investments be handled, both in terms of decision making and ownership? Should the marriage come to an end one day, how will the matrimonial property be shared out? How will the role of the wife be determined?

I am a strong proponent of couples maintaining 3 bank accounts; the wife’s account, the husband’s account and a joint account. Everyone needs a track record with a bank, which comes in handy should one suddenly hit some rough waters and require credit urgently. Will the wife have a bank account and where will the money for that account come from? Learn more about financial management tips for couples here.

When a marriage breaks, it is usually the woman who ends up with the children. Women also outlive men in most cases. What happens if the woman has had no source of income over the years? What if she has no track record with any financial institution because she has not had a bank account for decades? How will she access credit should she find herself in financial difficulties?

3. Roles and Responsibilities of Marriage Partners

Building a marriage long term takes hard work. Providing and bringing up children are just but a few of the roles and responsibilities that come with marriage. What will the roles and responsibilities of the stay-at-home-mom be? How will she and the husband complement each other? Every human being needs to live a full life. Raising babies and taking care of domestic chores is not equal to living a full life. How will she continue to enjoy hobbies that make her come alive? What about keeping her passions alive?

Dependence levels in Africa are very high and most adults have responsibilities beyond their immediate families. How will the wife who is minus a source of income take care of responsibilities such as supporting her parents and/or siblings should that become necessary? Will the husband take care of his wife’s side of the family?

What are the wife’s skills and expertise and how will she continue to utilize and nurture them while she is a full time stay-at-home mom? How will she remain intelligent, sharp and relevant?

Will she oversee certain family projects if she is good at it? What about if her strength is in financial management; will she be actively involved in setting priorities and overseeing budgets? How will she continue to feel good about herself, to maintain a healthy self-esteem and self-confidence?

Mature conversations are important for the well being of a relationship. How will a woman whose life revolves around domestic chores and taking care of babies remain relevant and up to date with current affairs and the trends in the world? How will she continue to engage her husband in intelligent and challenging conversations? How will she remain interesting and great company?

4. What Next for Stay-at-home-mom After the Babies Grow?

Many times we forget that children grow up very fast and that we can live another 30 or 40 years after we are done with raising them. Those are many years especially if they were not well planned for. When a couple decides that the wife will be a stay-at-home-mom, it is important to think of the transition from being a stay-at-home mom back to gainful employment.

How will the wife keep her skills and expertise alive and up to date? How will she maintain her social and professional circles such that transition back to gainful employment will be easy when the time comes? Will she continue to participate in activities in the community? Will she continue to be active in activities that keep her relevant such as writing a blog in her niche, shooting some educative videos and sharing in a channel such as YouTube, writing some Ebooks, being a member of professional organizations, giving talks, coaching and mentoring certain communities of people probably college students or professional women?

5. Personal Development for Stay-at-home-moms

Five or ten years outside one’s professional field can see one get really left behind. Going back to gainful employment can become an uphill task for someone who has lost touch with the profession. Technology has made working from home even on part time basis easy and practical. It is important for a woman who takes a break in her career to remain actively engaged in a relevant field, even if she works part time from home probably 2 or 3 hours a day or 3 afternoons a week.

A stay-at-home mom can devote some time every day to her personal development. It might be 30 to 45 minutes every day devoted to reading relevant material, participating in relevant forums online, watching videos or listening to audio books. She can volunteer too, probably one or two afternoons a week.

I see women who opt to become full time stay-at-home moms suffer tremendously when circumstances suddenly change such as in case of divorce, widowhood or loss of job of the spouse or collapse of family business. In some cases the woman has been so out of touch with her profession she has no idea how to make her way back. It is painful to see a woman who once enjoyed a successful career result to some small business or manual jobs because she suddenly finds herself in desperate circumstances and is unable to resume her career.

Susan Catherine Keter is a life coach, mentor, motivational speaker, freelancer and blogger
Website: www.susancatherineketer.com
Quora: https://www.quora.com/profile/Susan-Catherine-Keter
Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/Financial.Literacy.Africa/?pnref=lhc
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SusanCatherineK

Kenyans are very enterprising and many are involved in some kind of business. The common practice is for different family members to run small, independent businesses (one deals in shoes, another one ladies dresses while yet another is in the green grocer business). 

This needs to be clear from the beginning. Do not wait until one family member tells another off about some personal things before you put measures in place to correct the situation.

Performance expectations and disciplinary measures must be understood from the beginning. With a clear leader, this should be easy to handle. It should also be clear that the family and the business are two completely different entities. 

Do you struggle with the burden of dependent family members?

Do you feel stuck because formal education is necessary for any meaningful employment and probably some of your dependents don’t have adequate formal education to enable them get absorbed into the job market? Taking a family member through the school system is a major cost, especially if you are struggling to stay afloat in challenging circumstances yourself.

Lack of cohesion in the family can be a major contribution to poverty. Some families that are stuck in the cycle of poverty have problems getting the right leadership. Some of them have a dysfunctional parent who is supposed to be the head. Some family members might have substance abuse problems.

In most cases there is no proper guidance about career. All they know is that they need a college education then they will get a job. If the resources to enable them pursue higher education are not available, they give up hope and settle for a life of chronic financial struggle. They lack guidance about ways they can use their own creativity, their desperate circumstances notwithstanding, to earn income.

* What resources do your dependents have that can used to earn income, with or without a job?
* Do they have hobbies that can be monetized or gifts and talents that can be transformed into streams of income?

Join us for the Free Couples’ Mentorship Forum.

Topics for discussion include:

1. Effective management of resources in your marriage (including human resource)
2. Teamwork in marriage
3. How to empower your dependents (including the extended family).
4. Goal setting (short-term, mid-term and long term goals)
5. Adequately prepare for retirement.

Who is this Forum for?

* Couples who are preparing for marriage
* Couples in the first 10 years of marriage
* People (either individuals or couples) who would like to adequately prepare for retirement

Date

Saturday, 25th March 2016

Time

1.30 p.m.

Venue

Nairobi (Details about the venue to be communicated to those who confirm attendance).

This forum is free to attend. It is very limited sitting and on a first-come-first-served basis. We shall close as soon as we are full. Bring a notebook and a pen to take notes (A MUST). Very interactive session.

Susan Catherine Keter is a life coach, mentor, motivational speaker, freelancer and blogger.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Financial.Literacy.Africa/?pnref=lhc
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SusanCatherineK

To reserve your slot, go to http://www.susancatherineketer.com/
Click on ‘More’ ‘Contact’ and make your reservation.

We are living in a day when everything we were taught from a young age has been shattered, torn to shreds. We grew up knowing that if we worked hard in school and got good credentials, we would get good jobs and life would be smooth.

Technology has turned the world upside down and now we are faced with a situation we did not prepare for. Professionals are going on strike all over the place; they worked hard, got good credentials and made it to their dream careers but things are not exactly as they anticipated. The dream jobs have turned out to be disappointing. We are faced with challenges no one prepared us for.

* A shrinking job market (The job market cannot cope with the demand).

* High cost of living (the cost of living grows at the pace of a cheetah while salaries grow at the pace of a tortoise). Many educated, employed people cannot make ends meet.

* Job insecurity: today you have a job, tomorrow it’s gone. (Retrenchments, companies closing down certain markets, changes in government and/or organizational leadership, jobs being replaced by technology or cheap labor, performance contracts, etc.)

* Retiring with a pension is now a myth!

* High levels of dependency in Africa: aging parents, siblings, extended family (we need to learn to empower them to fish for themselves rather than giving them a fish daily). Relying on adult kids after retirement is no longer workable. They too are struggling to survive.

* Job dissatisfaction: Highly educated people with jobs that do not match their qualifications.

The fact that the school system did not equip us with skills on how to be self employed does not help things. It is possible to be highly qualified in one’s field and still not be competent to build a business around those skills.

I have put together a coaching program that prepares professionals to turn their skills and expertise into income.

Book a free coaching session here.

40-year old Jason worked as a casual laborer in a manufacturing company in Nairobi’s industrial area. He lived in one of the city’s slums with his wife of 9 years and 3 young children. His wife operated a small roadside hotel. She cooked food such as githeri (a mixture of boiled maize and beans),chapati and boiled beans which she sold mostly to busy people on their way home from work in the evenings.

Life for Jason’s family had always been a struggle. He and his wife did not have much chance of getting better jobs since none of them had gone beyond primary school. They both came from poor backgrounds. They had migrated to the city to look for a better future.

Jason loved European soccer and that was his favorite pass time. His love for soccer drove him to sports betting. He started doing it secretly because he knew that his wife considered any kind of betting a waste of money. She believed that winners who were paraded on TV and daily newspapers were fake.

Luck smiled at him when he won the KShs. 20 million jackpot! That was the time his wife discovered that he had been betting secretly the past 5 months. Jason was accompanied by excited family members who included his wife and siblings to a city hotel where he was presented with his check. He was asked by journalists what he planned to do with the money and he said that it was a lot of money which was going to change his life, so he would think about it slowly. Such an important decision could not be rushed.

Jason came to the city from a poor village around 500 kilometers from the city of Nairobi. One of the first things he did with the money he won was to buy land in their rural home for his widowed mother. He then proceeded to build for her a 3-bed-roomed permanent house and also bought her two cows. He bought a piece of land for his family a short distance from his mother’s new home and put up his family home.

The newly rich Jason resigned from his casual laborer job and relocated his family to their new home in the rural home. He was now the village celebrity. The sight of desperate relatives and villagers at his doorstep became a common occurrence. They were not just coming to congratulate him on his new found wealth and status but to seek help for their own financial woes; a child that was out of school because of lack of school fees, a sick mother, a home that was about to be auctioned because of a bank loan that had been taken to support a farming project that failed, and so much more.

In the meantime, he had bought a piece of land in a nearby town where he was putting up a 5-storey commercial building that mainly comprised of rental houses with businesses premises on the ground floor. He bought a motorcycle to facilitate his transportation.

Misfortune visited Jason’s family in the most unusual way. The commercial building he was putting up came crashing down when it was almost complete. The only work remaining at the time was the finishing. He was very fortunate because the collapse happened at night when no one was at work. There were therefore not injuries and no fatalities but he lost most of his money. It turned out that the person he had hired to supervise the construction work was not qualified. He had never supervised a project of that magnitude before.

The Curse of the Nouveau Riche

People who win the lottery or find themselves suddenly in possession of large sums of money rarely end up on the list of the world’s wealthiest people. This includes professional athletes who win large sums of money and more so if they are from poor backgrounds. People who inherit large sums of money are in this category too. 70% of them end up bankrupt within 5 years. Their final situation is normally worse than what it was before the win.

The number 1 factor that brings them down is their circles. Everyone around them is needy. Compare this with the circles of the world’s wealthiest people.

Our relationship with money was learned by experience from a very young age. Probably we were sent to the shop when we were little and we lost the change along the way. The reaction we got upon arriving home and being asked for the change taught us something that is likely to shape our relationship with money for the rest of our lives. So is the reaction we got whenever we asked for something that required spending money such as a school trip or purchase of a pair of sports shoes. Did we observe a culture of saving and investing from the time we were little? Our relationship with money has deep roots. We do not learn that in adulthood.

People who suddenly land on large sums of money are likely to not only have an unhealthy relationship with money but also to be inexperienced in handling such sums of it. The same applies to many people in their circles. Once family and friends get the news, they bring all their problems to their kin who is now rich. They now have their kin who is in a position to solve all their problems. Being surrounded by poor and needy people means that a lottery winner feels like some very important person in his circles. He compares himself with people in his circles and of course he is so much better than all of them. At that time, one is no longer in the league of the struggling people but is now rich. He can afford to solve problems in his circles.

Some great Jim Rohn quotes about the curse of the nouveau riche.

“If someone gives you a million dollars, you’d better become a millionaire so you can keep the money. Success doesn’t want to hang around incompetent people.”

“Pity the man who inherits a million and isn’t a millionaire. Here’s what would be pitiful, if your income grew and you didn’t.”

Poverty Mindset

Poverty is a mindset and if one does not work on changing that mindset, it is impossible to get out of poverty no matter how much money passes through his hands. A person with a poverty mindset thinks in terms of spending, not growing the money. The lottery winner now has access to a lot of money yet has not been set free from the poverty mindset.

Lottery winners therefore end up giving away a lot of that money to needy people all around them and within a few years, they are back to being one of them. Giving away money without planning long term is the number one reason people who used to be poor then got lucky by becoming the proud owners of a lot of money end up back in poverty within a few short years.

Giving is not bad. In fact it is noble. Let us look at the way wealthy people give. Do they just give out money to whoever wants without a plan? Do they give out cash while all they have is cash or do they focus on accumulating assets then give back from their assets, not from cash? Cash runs out; assets earn money over and over again.

Personal Financial Management

There is something that building a business, failing, getting up again and continuing with the journey does to someone’s development. There are so many lessons one learns along that journey. One learns many useful lessons through experience. That is what is called growth. You learn how costly mistakes can be. You also learn that in this world not everyone is happy for you when you succeed and that there are selfish people around. Your journey teaches you how to count the cents. The pain of struggling to afford every small thing in the course of building your business teaches you how important every coin is. You learn how to plan and budget long term, not to spend on impulse.

By the time someone is bringing his problems to you, you already have the long term picture of what you need to build and you are not even sure that the money at your disposal will be actually adequate for all that needs to be done. You are focused on making your money meet the needs before you.

Winning the lottery cuts out the growth process. It is like taking a toddler straight to college without passing through the different classes. The lottery winner is like an untrained child, has no experience handling serious money. Imagine buying a luxury car for your teenage son; is he competent to value it, take care of it?

The Important Role Professionals Play

Every successful person knows how important it is to engage the services of professionals such as financial advisers, life coaches, mentors, accountants and advocates. A person with a poverty mindset avoids ‘wasting’ money by hiring professionals. So he gets into the driver’s seat and starts driving while he has never driven before. It does not take long before he crashes!

A person who has not grown into money gradually is likely to behave like a starving person who has suddenly landed in a room full of delicacies. He wants to savor everything and is in a hurry to do so. He will quickly upgrade his house, furniture, car, family’s lifestyle and much more, without carefully planning and budgeting long term. What he has forgotten is that the money was a one-off payment, not a river that will continue flowing for as long as he lives. What he has is cash; not income generating assets.

A person who has learned about money will never eat the seed; he will plant that seed and nurture it so that it produces more seeds in future. A person who lacks financial literacy eats the seed and plants nothing. Once the seed has been eaten there is nothing more to go back to. He finds himself in a worse off situation than the one he was in before he won the lottery. He is stuck in a lifestyle that he cannot afford, unable to go back to his previous lifestyle. He is like a drowning man who is trying to clutch at a straw but the currents are just too strong.

Investing in a Business Without Careful Research

People who have suddenly landed on a lot of money might attempt to invest. That is admirable. The reality of the matter is that succeeding in a business takes skill and experience, which in most cases they do not have. The large sums of money gives them fake confidence and they fail to do proper research about a business before investing in it.

They do not follow the critical rules of startups such as keeping expenses down, doing sufficient research before embarking on a particular line of business and not engaging in a business one knows nothing about. It is possible to venture into a new line of business and succeed if one has the right support systems such as competent mentors or business partners.

They are likely not to put in enough effort to make it work. The false assurance given by the large sum of money makes them not desperate to do what it takes to make the business work. They fail to do risk assessment and end up putting their money in ventures they are not competent to handle.

Successful investors usually have lots of money. However, suddenly having access to a large sum of money does not automatically make one a competent investor. The best bet a lottery winner has for transforming his life long term is changing his circles and surrounding himself with the right people, people who are experienced in handling large sums of money. He will need people to help him remain level headed with the changing fortunes. Engage in conversations with such people every day and just be part of their circles. Consult with professionals about every major decision.

No matter how large a sum of money is, spending it without a budget and without carefully planting for the future is a sure way to finish it really fast. Riches have wings; money does fly away unless it is is carefully taken care of.

Book your slot for the couples’ mentorship forum or a free individual mentorship session here.

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“In whose house are you walking in at this hour? Which married woman gets home at this time of the night?” Julius glared at his wife who was walking in through the front door. He pointed menacingly at the clock that hung on the wall.

Maggie was tired, hungry and frustrated. She was to meet a client at 5.30 p.m. to make some deliveries but the client kept her waiting until 6.30 p.m. and still did not make it. Apparently the traffic from Westlands to the Nairobi city center was too heavy and the client eventually opted to use alternative routes to go to Ngong Road.

Maggie felt totally wasted. She carried the package she was to deliver to the client and reluctantly walked to the bus stop. The long queue of tired workers waiting to board the bus was not encouraging at all. It took her another one hour on the queue. The traffic leaving the city center was slow but moving. She was exhausted and longed to get home, take a warm shower and take a few moments to rest before attending to domestic chores. She looked at the clock her husband was pointing at. It was 9.06 p.m.

She stood there rooted to the ground, paper bag in hand. Julius never bothered to ask her where she was coming from, what had happened and whether she was ok. She looked at him without saying a word. She could not even cry. He grabbed a stool in anger, took aim as if he was going to throw it at her but hesitated. As she sat there not uttering a single word, many thoughts raced through her mind.

Retrenched!

Maggie worked as subordinate staff at a private university. Her husband Julius had worked for a micro-finance as an accountant for 20 years until he got retrenched. He aggressively applied for jobs during the initial months but none came through. As time went by, it was as if he got discouraged and went slow on applying for jobs. He would spend all his free time watching movies on his laptop and sometimes go out with friends, especially over the weekend.

Maggie stepped up her efforts. She would make snacks during her free time and sell to the students and staff at the university. She would also make detergent over the weekend and sell to the same clientele. Her husband’s savings barely lasted 3 months and she found all the responsibilities resting on her shoulders. She moved the children to a cheaper school in the neighborhood but still the financial struggles continued.

Marital Conflicts

Conflicts gradually set in. She would lose her temper very easily especially when she would get home very tired and find Julius watching movies. She would ask him why he could not even utilize that time to research different ways to earn income. His answer was always the same; he had applied for jobs and was waiting for the responses.

Months dragged to a year and things were now worse in their home. Julius gradually became abusive, calling her names even in front of the children and the house help, accusing her of prostitution because she would arrive home at 8.00 or 9.00 p.m. sometimes, when she had deliveries to make after work. The insults graduated to violence, with Julius telling her that she wanted to rule him but she would know who the head of the house was. He told her time and again that he needed to be respected.

One day her first born son who was in class 6 had gone for a broom and pointed it at his dad; “When I grow up I will kill you! Mom is everything to us; she is all we’ve got!”

That had shocked Maggie to the core of her being. She looked at her son then at her daughter who was in class 3 at the time. They had suffered so much the past couple of years. She slumped into a chair and called the kids to her and hugged them, sobbing openly. Julius appeared shocked and he stood rooted to the ground where he was. He did not say a word. It was like he suddenly realized that he seemed to be an outsider in this home.

All this was replaying in Maggie’s mind as she stood there. What if Julius actually threw the stool in his hand at her? What if she got critically injured or killed? Who would take care of the children in case of such an eventuality?

That was the day Maggie moved to the children’s bedroom. She realized there and then that she did not want to fight for this marriage any more. She was letting it crumble. The marriage was beyond redemption. Within a couple of months she moved out with the children. They moved to a small house closer to the children’s school. The children would take around 15 minutes to walk to school.

The end of the month came and Julius did not have money to pay the rent. He was still waiting for the job applications to bear fruit 3 years since he lost his job. He moved to a friend’s place and when things still did not get better, he relocated to the village.

Maggie has raised the two children all on her own the past 13 years. Life has been a struggle but they are happy they have peace of mind. Julius has never got a job and he does not participate in their lives.

How To Cope With Job Loss

Challenges Associated With Job Loss

1.The number 1 problem people who lose their jobs battle with is negative thoughts and feelings. The are likely to be obsessed with thoughts of how unfair it all is. They could get overwhelmed by feelings of anger, fear, worry and grief. Being positive in a hopeless situation is an uphill task. It is very easy to end up angry and let out their frustrations on their loved ones. If not managed well, having predominantly negative thoughts and feelings can make one toxic and push away loved ones; friends, family and even acquaintances. This is the time you need them most and cannot afford to lose their support.

2. Delay to truly evaluate one’s situation, weigh possible solutions and take action. Most people allow the denial period to go on for so long they run out of money before they even have a clue how to move forward. Once a job is lost, it is important to face up to the issue within the shortest time possible and to come up with a way forward. Reach out to people very early; don’t wait.

3. Financial problems are a normal consequence of job loss. This should not be taken for granted even for a single day. If you have been used to a monthly salary, do not wait until the end of the month comes and you earn nothing for you to come to terms with the reality of being jobless. Start working on a plan to replace your income from day 1. Time moves very fast and if you don’t act fast, you will find yourself in some of the worst crises you have ever imagined.

What steps can you take to remedy the situation?

1. Self care is very important. Take care of your health like never before. You had a routine that was based on your job and that is now gone. Sit down and come up with a new routine. Incorporate physical exercise into that routine. Think of activities that will keep you sharp and productively engaged, even if that will mean volunteering.

The key is to keep learning, remain sharp and take care of your self-esteem. The activities that keep you busy could open doors in future so plan for them well. A good example is keeping oneself busy through writing. That can eventually be transformed into a stream of income.

2. Be quick to learn how to manage stress. Being jobless is stressful so stress management skills are critical for your sanity. Practice visualization, meditation, yoga and any other strategy that will help you reduce stress. Make a conscious decision to saturate your mind with positive thoughts. Cut out your intake of caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and junk foods. Ensure that you get adequate rest and sleep every day no matter how tough the going gets.

3. Motivate yourself to take the steps that help to relieve stress and improve your mood. If jogging is part of your stress coping mechanisms, look for ways to motivate yourself to do it every day. You might need to look for a jogging partner even if the person is far away from you. Hold each other accountable and compare notes. Give yourself small rewards for doing what needs to be done whether you feel like doing it or not.

4. Take steps to improve your relationships. For example if you are a married man and your wife is in employment, be more supportive of her than you have ever been. Help her with chores, share great ideas with her, assist with the kids and everything that can make the bond between the two of you stronger.

Remember that your lost income is likely to strain your relationship so bring loved ones including children closer to you. Be creative in coming up with fun activities for the family. It does not necessarily cost money to have fun. You will need the support of every member of the family so make it easy for them to support you.

5. Be open minded about earning income. It is ok to aggressively send out job applications, but don’t put all your hope there since you have no control over how long it can take to land another job. Spend time doing your research to identify opportunities for jobs that suit your skills and expertise.

Identify lines of work that could suit you. Find out what skills are required and if you are lacking some of them, get busy acquiring them. Self education does not cost much. For example if you identify writing as a possible line of work, get busy practicing how to write and improving your skills.

Allocate a specific period of time into your daily routines for these activities that prepare you for future work. When it comes to seeking ways to replace lost income, don’t restrict yourself to the small area you call your profession. Doors might open outside your field of work so make deliberate effort to prepare to take advantage of such opportunities.

6. Networks are critical for finding opportunities so do not seclude yourself. Yes, it feels embarrassing to be jobless and the most natural thing to do is to avoid people. That actually works against you. Get busy where you will get noticed and give people value. Begin immediately you lose your job, before your life takes a turn for the worse and you lose your self-confidence.

Take advantage of every opportunity to volunteer whether it is at church, your children’s school or in the neighborhood. Just make sure that you are in the face of as many people as possible. If there ever was a time to do good, this is it.

Step up and assist your neighbor who needs help jump starting his car, volunteer to serve at an event at church, offer to drop a package at the bus company for your brother-in-law on your way to town and whatever else will make people remember you in a positive light. Avoid burning bridges; you need all the help you can get. It is also a great way to keep feeling good about yourself.

7. Social media is very important for networking so join the right online communities and ensure to get noticed. Brand yourself professionally on social media. Change the details about where you work immediately. The way you brand yourself should be able to open doors. It might be prestigious to leave the details about the place you used to work before you lost your job but that will only keep opportunities from you.

Make sure that you clearly indicate that as your past job; it should appear current otherwise no one will know that you are open for opportunities.

Get involved in the right online conversations and also post content regularly. You need to attract people to yourself so put your best foot forward and give people value; become an attractive person. Allocate time in your daily schedules for being on social media. Let the world know that you exist and also what you are good at.

8. Reach out and make new friends. Join a club, a fellowship, a network marketing company or enroll for a class that will not eat too much into your savings. Be more alert to people around you; on public transport, at the bus stop, in the supermarket and everywhere. Learn to initiate conversations with strangers and add to your networks daily. You have no way of knowing who will open doors for you so focus on growing your networks.

Are you struggling to find your way after job loss and could benefit from coaching? Book a free session here.

This article is written by Susan Catherine Keter, Life Coach, Mentor, Motivational Speaker, Freelancer and Blogger.
Website: http://www.susancatherineketer.com/
Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/Financial.Literacy.Africa/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SusanCatherineK
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The online population has been growing consistently over the past few years. This has both advantages and disadvantages. Looking at the growth in numbers in comparison with a real life situation where the crowd grows tremendously, one thing that cannot be ignored is the noise in the marketplace.

A Mixed Multitude

A situation that brings together a huge crowd of largely unregulated people is definitely going to attract all kinds of people. There will be dishonest people, people whose motives for being there are questionable, distractors and everyone else. As more and more negative things happen online and people become skeptic, those who are serious about building their business using online platforms have to come up with ways to rise above all the noise and stand out from the crowd.

The future of social media marketing belongs to those who can prove to the world that they are genuine. Different social media platforms are making it possible for people who are bold enough to put themselves under scrutiny to prove to their followers that they are real, in a world where there is so much fake on social media platforms.

In this free webinar, we explore the new products that different social media platforms are introducing that will set the pace for online marketing. These 5 simple tricks will enable you to rise about the noise on social media and market your business like a professional. Be bold! Separate yourself from the amateurs and you will be smiling all the way to the bank in 2017 and beyond.

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